The Renegade (pt 3) Deep Confessions

The renegade's soul is haunting the forest. It cannot find its place. It doesn't know where to go, what to do and what to think about the world.
It's all my folt! All mine! I shouldn't have cared so much about you even if you killed my world! I could have built it again! I could have ignored what you left behind after your cruel storm and started again! I could have left you alone ! I should have started taking care of my world since the moment you started shattering it! I should have built and built and built until there would have been nothing for you to destroy! I shouldn't have made myself a renegade just because you wanted me to be this way. I had the same chance as you to become someone. I had my dreams and my skills too. I wasn't an outcast in the begining. I was your equal. But you found me and eradicated me, hurt me, made me feel bad and now this dream of yours has come true. I'm dead! You have killed me just because you wanted to! You are doing everything to get yourself over the top and you feel no pain when souls live just because of your wheel. But this doesn't matter. The thing that matters is that I have given in to you. I let myself washed away by your evel planning and now here's where I stand, in a misterious forest full of stories and strange things. There will not be human being to remember me because you have dragged me in here and left me with my deadly pains as I was praying to God. He didn't keep me alive, but I don't blame him. I agree with him. He wanted to teach me a lesson, because he knew that I could have done something for myself. Maybe he didn't eant me to change you, and niether did I want to do so. But he wanted one single thing from me. A thing which he long expected me to do. He wanted me to stand in front of you, prowdly but respectfuly at the same time and he wanted me to show you that you aren't invincible and that there's none , niether human nore other creature who could beat Him in might and power. That was his whish and therefore my destiny. But I didn't fulfil it. I couldn't stand tall in front of you. I didn't train hard enough and thus I have recieved my paiment. This is what I got for my life's nothingness. Now I know it and I am sorry for having betraied my Lord.
Aa the renegade said this, angels from Heaven came and gave their blessing. Later that day, a silvery star fell from the sky exactly where the renegade had died.
Think about what you must do in this life, dear friend and do not betray your destiny if you realy want to die a painless and holly death!