Wings of Destiny

luni, 18 ianuarie 2010

The renegade (pt 2)- The Renegade's prayer

Oh, God of mine!
In heaven you dwell and will forever be here when I need you! Take a look at my broken heart and damned soul! Teach me wrong from right! Take my pain away oh, Mighty Lord! Make it go away from me because I am becoming less powerful every single day! Lord, the pain is killing me and I cannot stand it! It's tearing up my heart, eating my flesh, making my bones grawl in desmay ! Oh, God, Great Lord can't you see me lying here deep in the forest? Can't you see that I cannot move ? There's nothing else that I can feel except from the pain which is building inside. It's making my lungs cry out, my brain to lose it's concentration and my soul to hurt. Oh, God of mine, Holly Lord of mine, look at me! Help me! Don't let me die here! Holly God, please! Don't take me just now, Please Lord! I am starting to see dark spots right now! Something's wrong in here! The pain has ended now and I feel the need to sleep but I mustn't...No, God, Don't take me! I have more things to do in this world! I haven't fineshed living my whole life! I'm not ready for You yet! Jesus help me!!!!!! I cannot concentrate. My brain doesn't want to listen to my whishes. Has it betraied me as well? Oh, Lord I feel so broken, the mental pain is even worse than the one I felt before. Lord, can you hear me? Please, let me live and I'll always do what I must and never make mistakes again! Lord, Holly God, Glorious forever, Hallowed be Thy name! Don't let me die here! Don't take me now ! PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
A last disperate cry for help faded away between the tries of the forest. The druides are coming for their rituals. They find the renegade lying breathless in a comathose stage. Blood is still dropping from the renegade's chest, but the soul cannot be found......

The Renegade

It's been a long time since you appeared around here. You were brought into the world on the wings of an angel in the most beautiful day of the year, when the sun was shining above and when everyone seamed to smile.
I was very small on that day and niether did I know you. To me you were nothing more but a legend of unspoken fear, something that I somehow knew was going to come sooner or later within my inner world, breaking the walls of my citadelle and making me feel as if all my power had faded with the blink of an eye.
As seconds, minutes, hours and years of our life were passing by, you started to gain confidence in yourself because everyone told you that there's none better than you and you alone are the one chosen for supremacy. Thus you started tearing people appart with your beauty and killing inocent children with your sweetness which is never the same but always wanting to destroy. Your future is  painted in diamonds, each and every single day brings you love and admiration, you are always the first in line and your fire will never die.
As I start to move through the memories of my life and the chaines that bind me, I start smiling and then laughing in a hysterical way when I see my wals broken and my world gone. What I have built for so many years has fallen now, in a moment since you came in sight.
My defence has been eraced, my smiles taken away from me, my dreams killed and my whishes eradicated. I don't want to know if it should have happenned to me or not, but there's one certain thing. I must take myself back from you without begging for mercy. Allthough now I'm just a renegade in front of you, you never know how life will tourn Her game againced your beauty and power, and the cold blood which I still have left will never let me down!

duminică, 17 ianuarie 2010

Best way to kill pain

Open your eyes! Look beyond! Search until you find the true meaning of your life
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Hi5
May you never be deceived by the cruelty of mankind. Laugh if you feel like crying, live if you feel like dying, go if you feel like staying but never betray and stay loyal to yourself forever more!
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Hi5
Do not show your fear of inferiority. Forge your shield of your own ambition and do not forget that there will always be something good in this world for you as well even if it doesn't look like it's to come soon........
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Take your glory back because you need it. Don't let them take it away! Give them not your soul and heart! Stay FOREVER YOURS!

vineri, 15 ianuarie 2010

Outcast

Iata-ma scriind din nou.....
aici este locul in care scriu cel mai bine fiindca de aici pot observa. De la observatie ajung la ganduri pe care le transform in cuvinte scrise. Scriu aici pentru a arata ceea ce gandesc si a demonstra ca omul este superior altor necuvantatoare doar pentru faptul ca poate gandi.
Iata.......... ma indrept acum in tacere spre poarta pe care o data ce intri trebuie sa dai piept cu realitatea si sa stii sa te simti fiinta umana.
De unde sa stii? Cine sa te invete? cand toti se uita la tine ca si cum ai fi ceva mic si ciudat. Toti vor sa te captureze, sa te manipuleze sau pur si simplu sa-si bata joc de sufletul tau, iar tu ca un visator te lasi prada valului si plangi fiindca nu ai putere sa mergi inainte. Te cuvfunzi sub o perdea de suparare combinata cu furie care mai tarziu se transforma intr-o simpla melancolie bantuitoare. Nu te mai lasa sa dormi sau sa faci alt ceva. Nu te doare insa e mereu acolo, undeva in minte, imposibil de detectat si vindecat. Lucrul care te sperie si mai tare este faptul ca va ramane mereu acolo fara sa plece. Probabil ca asa te vei distruge sau probabil ca nu, insa cert e ca va sta mereu acolo. Nu te poti destainui nimanui in primul rand pentru simplul fapt ca nu stii cine iti este prieten sau dusman. Traiesti intr-un cerc in  care toti se iubesc reciproc insa ajung la cutite pe la spate dupa ce-si saruta obrajii cu tandrete. In al doilea rand nu te poti destainui fiindca nici nu stii sa explici acest sentiment aparent banal insa atat de complex .............
Nu-i asa?
Oare asa te simti?
De ce atata ascunzis si rautate?
asa a trebuit sa fie omenirea de la inceput sau asa s-a creat singura prin marsavia unui suflet negru care le-a inegrit si pe celelalte?..........
acestea sunt cugetarile si intrebarile mele zilnice. Presupun ca si tu te simti la fel ...........

joi, 14 ianuarie 2010

Din trairile mele

(Sufletul meu pe vecie eu!)

Prin multe am trecut in aceasta viata..... prin multe mai am de trecut........... conteaza insa felul in care trec prin ele. Deja presimt ca am ajuns la perioada responsabilizarii. Nu mai pot sa visez atat de mult si de inconstient stiind ca mereu va fi cineva acolo. Uneori este ciudat. Trecerea brusca de la caldura la o temperatura sub 0 grade, de la copilarie la maturitate, de la visare la realitate si de inocenta la cunoastere a intregului adevar nu este un lucru usor.
Din fericire acesta este un lucru placut in felul lui. Parca ti s-ar deschide o poarta spre un loc pana acum protejat de un zid alcatuit din cuvinte si ganduri, probabil si o vaga idee despre ceea ce ar putea fi dincolo. Acum imi dau seama ca a meritat asteptarea. Acum ma pot arata si eu lumii in adevarata mea fiinta, cu gandurile mele personale si nu impuse de altii, cu lumea mea interioara care se reflecta in tot ceea ce vad in exterior si nu in ultimul rand cu scuturile mele de aparare care nu dau gres. Asa ar trebui sa inceapa fiecare clipa din viata, ca si cum as renaste avand de partea mea particulele din viitor, si reorganizandu-mi fiinta in functie de regulile fizicii cuantice combinate cu imaginatie fantastica si praf de stele. Probabil ca aceasta este utopie, dar e utopia mea. Daca nu ma intelegi, inseamna ca nici eu probabil nu iti pot deslusi universul spiritual. Daca nu vrei sa ma intelegi atunci esti o persoana trista. Nu te rezuma doar la ceea ce vezi prietene fiindca ochii te inseala. Mergi dincolo de lucrul pe care-l poti atinge cu mana ca sa ajungi la ceea ce poate sa atinga spiritul tau. Cauta aura de lumina nu stralucirea aurului. Mergi pe alte taramuri pentru a ajunge cu gandul mai repede decat cel mai luxos avion intr-o tara indepartata. Gaseste-ti steaua si uneste-te cu fiinta ta!!!!!!!!!!1

duminică, 3 ianuarie 2010

Trairi adanci

E noapte. E intuneric. Foarte intuneric........
Alearga copile!!!!!! Alearga printre vise, printre amintiri si printre ganduri. Cauta-ti fiinta pierduta. Gaseste-o undeva, in cineva, cumva.............. (Moto)

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Se aud pasi in jurul meu, iar eu ma trezesc undeva, intr-un loc cunoscut  de foarte mult timp , care inca mai are multe secrete pentru mine. Sunt un simplu observator insa ma implic direct in actiunile mele pentru ca semenii sa nu ma distruga. In fiecare zi fac exercitii de echilibristica pe firul vietii care pare infinit desi se sfarseste repede. Ma uit cu parere de rau inainte si te zaresc. Tu esti probabil o lumina la exterior , dar interiorul ti-este plin de pacat si negura desi nu vrei sa recunosti. Gratia ta omoara totul din jur. Esti cea mai frumoasa floare care le face pe toate celelalte sa ofileasca. Esti cea mai luminoasa raza de soare care distruge intregul univers. Esti paradisul infernal, esti tortura dulce a sufletelor, esti pasiunea mea cumplita.... Te privesc fara a intelege ca ma ucizi cu fiecare cuvant, fiecare zambet, fiecare privire pe care mi-o arunci cu nepasare si ignoranta.
Multi ti-ar datora viata...... dar vai de tine caci si tu i-o datorezi cuiva.......
I-o datorezi celui de care te temi insa iti ascunzi frica intr-un zambet fals si plin de marsavie.
Acel suflet, care-i tulbura pe toti este insusi intunericul, nimicnicia si groaza. Acel suflet te iubeste pentru ca tu esti intruchiparea sa in miniatura. Te iubiste si ti-o arata insa intr-un fel mai distant si mai rece pentru a nu fi observat. Nu vrea sa se tradeze fiindca in fata noastra, a tuturor nu are sentiminte. Sau cel putin nu ar trebui sa aiba. Dar avand in vedere faptul ca nu exista crima perfecta, nici genocid interior perfect nu exista, asadar, cel mai malefic dintre suflete a cazut prada dragostei pentru tine.
Te bucuri in liniste de acest lucru fiindca stii ca nu te va mai expune nimeni la pericole. Te protejeaza teama celorlalti observatori ca mine.
Ma fascinezi, ma omori zi de zi pentru a ma reinvia si a ma face sa te privesc desi vreau sa te uit. Poate ca eu nu te ador insa vreau sa te cunosc mult mai bine. Asta spun eu inainte de a ma pierde in tine. Asa voi spune si maine dupa ce ma vei fi omorat inca o data. Traiesc doar fizic, ma consider unul dintre supravietuitori, insa sufletul meu este mort datorita tie, lumina mea intunecata.........

sâmbătă, 2 ianuarie 2010


Dreams can be broken as well as created.
Light can be dangerous as well as helpfull.
Life can be nice as well as frustrating.
Damnation can be pleasure as well as disconfort.
Fear can be cruel as well as sensational.
Anger can be overwll as encouraging.
Vingeance can be sweet as well as unpleasant.
Desire can be loved as well as haunted.
Honnor can be great as well as dreadful.
You can be......
Love as well as hatred.
Glory as well as shame.
Sweet as well as bitter.
Golden as well as blackened.
Lightning as well as thunder.
Sun as well as the night.
Silence as well as powerful sounds.
Joy as well as sorrow.
Gore as well as beauty.
LIFE AS WELL AS DEATH
IT'S ALL IN YOUR HANDS SO DON'T WASTE YOUR PRECIOUS TIME AND MAKE THIS LIFE BE YOUR OWN!!!!!!!